Being a homeopath, it is very essential to have the qualities of a good listener. I have always assumed that I am better at listening than expressing myself. Today afternoon, I was attending a meeting conducted by Dr. Pravin Jain (http://www.homoeocare.co.in/index.html) for the very first time (thanks to my friend Sonal for introducing me to this wonderful team). While discussing a case. Dr. Jain very aptly pointed out that are we actually listening to the patients' story? It is very important to take patients at face value in the sense take what people are saying rather than cross questioning their belief system or adding our meaning to what they say. When someone says that he/ she is sympathetic, we have to appreciate their understanding of being sympathetic rather that questioning what they mean by that. What is defined by one person as being "symapthetic" does not have to fit into my dictionary. As my undertsanding stems from my belief system. Every person has their way of defining/ understanding the world we all live in and that is true for them. In other words, this is the "delusion" we all have about our world(s). When we understand this part, that is time we actually start listening to what the other person is saying.
After listening to this, I realized that this is applicable to everyone and in all walks of life. In other words, do we really listen? Or are we busy trying to express ourselves or having one way conversations when trying to convince others with what we think? Or we spend our entire lives trying to manage and control converstaions to have our way out? How many times to we actually plan what to speak and how to get our point across? I am sure all of you have had an experience where in you feel uncomfortable when someone overtakes the conversation and you don't get to hear what you want to hear.
Why are we not ready to listen? There are many reasons such we are prejudiced, we usually form our opinions based on our belief system rather than what we actually see/observe. Our past experiences (and even others who have influenced us) play a major role in coming to conclusions (rather jumping). We want to be in control of a situation and we are not ready to let go. Control generally stems from fear related to how we percieve ourselves in comaprison to others, when we are trying to impress others with what we have to say. Observe this when we start interrupting friends/ families/ co - workers during so called discussions and try to prove our points. Also ask yourself if you feel exhausted after a discussion as you were the only one talking (can we really call this discussion/ meeting). All these are usually one - way communication patterns. By doing this, we dont allow others to be themselves as they are. And it is just not one person, everybody sometime or the other does exhibit this kind of behaviour. Trying to prove our point, being in control, making things happen our way. I guess the only solution is to let go, which in itself is a big task. It also means not being in control, to get in touch with your fears, to expose your weakness to others, to be willing to listen (with compassion and understanding) what others have to say and allowing others to contribute.
From today's experience, this is what i learnt - When I listen, I show respect, I learn to be quiet and ready to learn something new. I also feel more connected and at peace with myself as my percepetion shifts from dimension to encompass others too. It improves my tolerance towards other people.
Lets see how often I can practice this new learning.
"Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening." - Rumi
After listening to this, I realized that this is applicable to everyone and in all walks of life. In other words, do we really listen? Or are we busy trying to express ourselves or having one way conversations when trying to convince others with what we think? Or we spend our entire lives trying to manage and control converstaions to have our way out? How many times to we actually plan what to speak and how to get our point across? I am sure all of you have had an experience where in you feel uncomfortable when someone overtakes the conversation and you don't get to hear what you want to hear.
Why are we not ready to listen? There are many reasons such we are prejudiced, we usually form our opinions based on our belief system rather than what we actually see/observe. Our past experiences (and even others who have influenced us) play a major role in coming to conclusions (rather jumping). We want to be in control of a situation and we are not ready to let go. Control generally stems from fear related to how we percieve ourselves in comaprison to others, when we are trying to impress others with what we have to say. Observe this when we start interrupting friends/ families/ co - workers during so called discussions and try to prove our points. Also ask yourself if you feel exhausted after a discussion as you were the only one talking (can we really call this discussion/ meeting). All these are usually one - way communication patterns. By doing this, we dont allow others to be themselves as they are. And it is just not one person, everybody sometime or the other does exhibit this kind of behaviour. Trying to prove our point, being in control, making things happen our way. I guess the only solution is to let go, which in itself is a big task. It also means not being in control, to get in touch with your fears, to expose your weakness to others, to be willing to listen (with compassion and understanding) what others have to say and allowing others to contribute.
From today's experience, this is what i learnt - When I listen, I show respect, I learn to be quiet and ready to learn something new. I also feel more connected and at peace with myself as my percepetion shifts from dimension to encompass others too. It improves my tolerance towards other people.
Lets see how often I can practice this new learning.
"Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening." - Rumi
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