Being single in your mid - 30s

This post is for all of us who are in their mid 30s and are single. Some common observations that I have had with friends who are single:

1. We would like to belive that we chose to be single and project a strong and independent image to the world that includes our family though we may be feeling vulnerable and lonely (a little maybe) in the inside.
2. It is always a struggle to meet new eligible, potential mates..where are all the good (yes good looking too) men (or women).
3. A sense of awkardness when strangers start chatting up on parenting issues. My personal experience is the reaction when you tell them that you are not married so no kids yet. These strangers always compliment that you are so young (oh yeah!) and are mentally calculating your age.
4. This one is for girls - when you are meeting a potential (so called marriage material) and the discussion starts to move towards hormonal issues and ageging (why the hell are you meeting if my age is a problem).
5. Going out or planning a fun weekend revolves around baby- sitting kids, going to a fun park or a mall that has kids play area as your friends have children and dinner is over by 10 pm as kids have to go to bed. And yes not to mention, the amount of planning that goes in and number times the plan is cancelled (what do you expect, everyone's married).
6. Those relatives who pity you and make you the centre of attraction at a party or get-together because of your single status and too old to get married talks (when are you getting married, why are you so choosy, think about your parents.....yes i totally get it)
7. Then you meet those potential (at least you assume there is some chance) and they are interested only in a coffee date (so called intellectual conversations where you talk about the world for hours - how perfect) but never hear from them again.
8. Another important factor is, who should first initiate communication? I have no answer for this one.

Whatever said and done, my personal experience has taught me never to given to social and family pressure. Always be your self when you meet someone rather than how you are expected to be. Never settle for anything less. Its better to be single than to live with a stranger whom you don't want to be with. At times its confusing, and at times you may get a feeling that you have missed the bus but always remember everything is perfect according to the divine plan. You experience a situation because you have to learn and grow.

Doing for self v/s doing what others expect of you

We spend most of our time trying to mold ourselves into what others expect of us rather than how we want to be. Also this concept of being how others what us to behave is a bit screwed as we tend to believe what others think of us based on our perception. So it is actually a projected idea of what we assume others think of us rather than what they actually will be thinking about us. Also we overlook the idea that others may actually not be thinking about us at all and we may be, but a small minuscule aspect of their lives. And imagine we spend our entire lives thinking how others are going to say about us on our face or rather behind our backs. We actually assume that people are not honest to us in person but rather weave stories about us behind our backs. To come to think of it, so we think others have so much time to gossip about us. Or simply put, we live in a delusion of self grandiosity that the entire world is thinking about us and gossiping about us which is nothing but a delusion we live in and that preoccupies us so much so that we take that as our reality. Also another point to think about is that the image we think people have of us or even what we carry of others is nothing but a projection of our mind and talks about how we are or how we think. We live in a false sense of reality that separates us from our real self. That true reality in which we find our true joyous self, free of any judgments and comparisons. Think for a moment how would you like others to see you? Well that’s how we have to see others too.  And we got to do what we think we need to do rather than what we assume others want us to do. To put it in simple words, you are your own storyteller. So what story are you writing?